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SEXUAL ADDICTION
- The Problem and Solution for Men
(click
here for a printable copy)
The Genesis of Our
Addiction
Our lust began as an
overpowering desire for pleasurable relief from an inner
pain, emptiness or
insecurity that we were not able to cope with in any other
way. At first, it
did provide the relief we sought. For a time, sex with ourselves
or with others
dissolved the tension, relieved the depression, resolved the
conflict, and
provided the means to deal with, or escape from life’s seemingly
unbearable
situations.
Eventually, our
quest for relief became an addiction, and the addiction took
on a life of its
own. Pleasure and relief were gradually replaced with tension,
depression, rage,
guilt, and even physical distress. To relieve this new pain, we
resorted to more sex
and lust, losing more control in the process. We were
driven to spend more
time thinking about and carrying out our addiction. We
lived in denial to
avoid recognizing just how much of our life was controlled by
our addiction.
Finally, our
addiction took priority over everything: our ability to work, live
in the real world,
relate with others and be close to God. What began as the cure
had become the
sickness. The Answer had become the Problem. We were
hopelessly addicted
to lust.
Overcoming Lust and
Temptation
A new loneliness
overwhelmed us as we realized that, because of our addiction,
we had become
increasingly separated from God and our loved ones. We began
to seek sobriety,
and as we stayed sexually sober for some length of time, we
discovered that even
though we may not be acting out our compulsion, our
obsession was still
with us.
We began to
recognize the many disguises the enemy uses to trick us into
lusting. We learned
not to rely on our failed and weakened selves, but rather, to
turn to God’s pure
love and absolute power. With an increased reliance on God,
we worked on our
recovery with altered attitudes, a changed heart and growing
humility, and we
gained a progressive victory over lust.
As we yielded to
God, temptation began to lose its control over us. When
we admitted we were
powerless and gave our lives and our will over to God,
He worked in us, and
we began enjoying a healthy new balance in our lives.
Leaning on and
learning from others in the program, we continue to walk in
His strength,
gaining true freedom from lust and sin through obedience to Christ
our Lord.
Are You Sexually
Addicted?
If you answer YES to
at least seven of these questions, you might consider
exploring this area
of recovery.
Yes No
1. Do you go from
one relationship to another?
2. Do you feel the
right relationship would fulfill all your needs?
3. Do you use sex as
an escape?
4. Do you make
excuses to leave your partner as soon as
possible after the
act?
5. After a sexual
experience do you feel guilty?
6. Has your pursuit
of sex interfered with your relationship
with your spouse?
7. Do you find you
are unable to resist a sexual overture?
8. Have you ever
sought out help to change your sexual
behavior or
thinking? Have you ever wanted to?
9. Have you ever
tried to limit or stop acting out, but have
been unable to?
10. Do you put
yourself, or others, in dangerous situations in
pursuit of sex?
11. Have you found
that you are unable to resist sex or sexual
images?
12. Do you have
trouble concentrating, or completing tasks at
work, always
thinking about sex?
13. Do you spend
time on the internet viewing pornographic
websites?
14. Do you take time
away from work to pursue sexual activities?
15. Do you feel you
have lost control of your actions to fulfill
the need for sex?
16. Have you ever
been arrested for a sexual offense?
Small Group
Guidelines
1. Keep your sharing
focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Limit your
sharing to three to
five minutes.
2. There will be NO
cross talk. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in
conversation,
excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her
feelings without
interruptions.
3. We are here to
support one another, not “fix” one another.
4. Anonymity and
confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the
group stays in the
group. The only exception is when someone threatens to
injure themselves or
others.
5. Offensive
language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.
Accountability Team
Phone Numbers
Sponsor:
______________________________________________________________
Accountability
Partners:
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
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