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FREEDOM FROM
ANGER - The Problem for Men
(click here for a printable copy)
The Problem
Every person has a
“Pattern of Toxic Behavior” that can significantly damage
the important and
intimate relationships in his or her life.
Anger is one of our
ten basic, God-given emotions. This emotion can be
CONSTRUCTIVE or
DESTRUCTIVE—depending upon our response.
The focus of this
group is on giving Jesus a “NANO SECOND” (just one
billionth of a
second!) to help us learn to use all of our emotions according to
God’s design for our
lives, and to appropriately change our pattern of relating
to others and our
responsibilities.
When most of us
think of an “angry” person, we think of someone who
destroys themselves
and their relationships through uncontrollable outbursts of
rage. We usually
picture someone who goes around slamming doors, yelling
loudly, and making
life miserable for everyone, including themselves. Yet, this
is only one part of
anger, as anger has many faces. Equally as damaging and
destructive is anger
that is suppressed, or “stuffed.” All anger, if allowed to,
will continue to
destructively influence our behaviors and attitudes, and
will ultimately,
erupt from deep within the heart.
Recognizing and
accepting responsibility for toxic patterns of behavior is
the first hurdle to
overcome as one runs the race toward true freedom from
anger. Walking
through the recovery process with Jesus Christ as our Higher
Power allows us to
admit our powerlessness to control our anger, as well as
trust that He will
help us to overcome our destructive habits.
Breaking the old
patterns that have kept us locked into destructive behavior
takes time. What
took years to bring about will take some time to change. But
with Jesus Christ as
our Higher Power, and the willingness to allow Him to
change our life,
real freedom from anger is possible!
Take a few minutes
and complete the following questionnaire. It may
reveal more about
your anger than you realize helping you determine if
your anger is
reaching a destructive level in your life. It may also be the
beginning of the
healing that you’re looking for! (Adapted from “The Anger
Workbook,” written
by Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minirth.)
Check the statements
that apply to you:
Do you have a
problem with anger?
 I become impatient easily when things do
not go according to my plans.
I tend to have critical thoughts toward
others who don’t agree with
my opinions.
When I am displeased with someone I may
shut down any communication
with them or
withdraw entirely.
I get annoyed easily when friends and
family do not appear sensitive to
my needs.
I feel frustrated when I see someone
else having an “easier” time than me.
Whenever I am responsible for planning
an important event, I am
preoccupied with how
I must manage it.
When talking about a controversial
topic, the tone of my voice is likely to
become louder and
more assertive.
I can accept a person who admits his or
her mistakes, but I get irritated
easily at those who
refuse to admit their weaknesses.
I do not easily forget when someone
“does me wrong.”
When someone confronts me with a
misinformed opinion, I am thinking
of my comeback even
while they’re still speaking.
I find myself becoming aggressive even
while playing a game for fun.
I struggle emotionally with the things
in life that “aren’t fair.”
Although I realize that it may not be
right, I sometimes blame others for
my problems.
More often than not, I use sarcasm as a
way of expressing humor.
I may act kindly toward others on the
outside, yet feel bitter and frustrated
on the inside.
If you checked 4 to
8 boxes, your anger is probably more constant than you
would like. If you
checked 9 or more boxes, there is a strong possibility that you
have struggled with
periods of anger or rage, whether you are aware of it or not.
Small Group
Guidelines
1. Keep your sharing
focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Limit your
sharing to three to
five minutes.
2. There will be NO
cross talk. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in
conversation,
excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her
feelings without
interruptions.
3. We are here to
support one another, not “fix” one another.
4. Anonymity and
confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the
group stays in the
group. The only exception is when someone threatens to
injure themselves or
others.
5. Offensive
language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.
Accountability Team
Phone Numbers
Sponsor:
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Accountability
Partners:
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